06/20/2024: The new norm

June 20, 2024

It was Monday June 17th, 8am, at Intel's JF Conference Center. Sixty four new hires stood in line to get their badge pictures taken, and then got ushered to a huge training room where they all got their laptops delivered. In about three hours, the new employee orientation was complete and everyone was free to socialize. It was at that point that it hit me that just about everyone in that room was closer in age to my highschooler than to me. They all had the enthusiasm and innocence I had as a recent college grad, twenty years ago, in that very room. Same employer, same conference room, and the same me, and yet, somehow it felt very different. I probably still have some of that enthusiasm but much lower energy, and certainly none of the 24yr old's innocence. I was just beginning to understand my new norm!

That afternoon, I met with my new team- consisting mostly of my dear old coworker/friends. I got the general description of the projects I will be working on. I got reminded of just how much I enjoyed working on some of the cutting edge engineering stuff. While in a meeting, I got a ping on teams that started with "Don't laugh out loud in the meeting but..." and, over the next 15min, I had the hardest time controlling my laughter, similar to how it used to be in my college during a certain Mr. Raja Rao's class. That was the most challenging part of my first day back at work, after four years of leaving the team, one year of being away from the company, and after four months of my MLOA. It felt good to be back!

My first week back at work was also the first full week of summer break for the girls. They were not thrilled to see me leave the house, after months of seeing me home 24x7. Thank goodness for Juneteenth, we got a nice little bonding time in the middle of this very significant week. The week became even more significant because of my 6-week post-op meeting with Dr. Gore on Thursday.

It was a virtual appointment so I took it from my work. I fired him my list of questions and he patiently answered them all. My fatigue, the inability to raise my brows without feeling a pinch on my head, my light and sound sensitivity, heavy eyelids, etc. all are deemed normal and may take several months to become less noticeable. I am supposed to hold off on all hair products and hair coloring is definitely off the table. I half expected that and have actually begun liking my grays anyway so it all should be fine!

What I did not expect was what he said next. He explained to me that, given the aggressive nature of my (grade-2) tumor, there is a high chance that the tumor starts to grow back, within one or two years, if not sooner. Although he did his best to remove most of the tumor during the surgery, there most certainly are some of the tumor cells left behind, and all it takes is one cell to launch the regrowth. Given all this, he strongly advised me to consider radiation now versus waiting until my next MRI in November. He suggested consulting with his radiation oncologist contact in University of Washington, Seattle, that is supposedly highly experienced with proton beam therapy, an alternative to traditional radiation therapy (electron-beam based). Apparently the proton beams are more reliable at hitting the tumor cells and preserving the good cells around it, there by keeping the side-effects to a minimum.

The therapy involves six weeks of daily sessions and if I choose the proton beam method, it all needs to happen in Seattle, as the procedure is not available in Oregon at this time. Good thing is that this decision can wait the three weeks until Raaga's Rangapravesam, and either way, my parents will be here to support me and the girls.

Just as I was absorbing all this information (still at work), a sweet coworker friend stopped by to welcome me back to the team. She had known about my tumor and when I mentioned I might need proton beam therapy, she immediately mentioned her cousin who is the chair of the department of radiation oncology at UW Medicine and offered to make an introduction.

Being in close quarters with doctors and medical team is my new norm. From one friend's neurosurgeon-cousin to another friend's radiation oncologist-cousin, it is truly endearing seeing that the universe's continued efforts to look out for my and my family's well-being is still a part of that new norm. Signing off on yet another grateful Thursday!