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Grief and beyond

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 My father spent his career teaching in a government school where many students came from families living below the poverty line. Some children came to school after working to help feed their families. Others quietly carried the burdens of alcoholism at home, illness, abuse, or hardships no child should have to face. Nanna often said that getting those children to come to school consistently was a victory in itself. When one of them passed the 10th grade board exams, he believed it deserved to be celebrated. Despite earning the modest salary of a government school teacher, he would personally give cash prizes to those students from his own pocket, just to let them to know their hard work mattered. It's been two (lunar) months today since his passing. In his memory, we contributed toward the graduation trophies at Portland ManaBadi this year. Another generous family completed the remaining amount needed, allowing every graduate to be recognized. Nanna believed that encouragement can...
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Just Do IT!

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The calendar progressed from February 15th to 16th without much fanfare for the first 44 years of my existence. Destiny somehow decided to spruce things up a bit for me on 02.16.2024. One year later, as the date reads 02.16.2025, I have so much to reflect on, so much to feel grateful for! Thursday, 02.15.2024, to begin with,  gave me a headache, but also gave me the right mind to go to ER for it. That D-day, 02.16.2024, upped the ante by making me cross paths with the best medical team possible right at the crack of midnight. They exercised abundance of caution, ordered the battery of tests that enabled them to be ready with my diagnosis by 5am. The day after, 02.17.2024, gave the best gift of all- the sense of purpose. 02/16/2024: Video call from ER It was Saturday, Feb 17th, 2024, and my memories of that day are vivid. We were at a dear friend's place for Baba puja. The aarti had just got done and I stood near their butlers pantry area, waiting with my plate for the buffet c...
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Dodging the Lurking Bears

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Let's say you are hiking in the woods and you suddenly encountered a bear. At that instant, you aren't going to think about your knees that have been hurting. You will not look to wash your muddy shoes or change those wet socks. You are not even going to unzip the bag of chex mix snack you've been hungry for. Your singular focus is going to be to make sure you don't become the snack for the bear right there. From February 16th, the day of my diagnosis, to October 23rd, the last day of my radiation, the tumor has been that all consuming bear for me. All other aches and pains, concerns and fears, big and small, went to the back burner. It's been almost two months since the end of radiation treatment,  and every last thing I put off all these days has elbowed its way back to the forefront. The universe is a pro at these balancing acts! My vision has got the most negative press. Lifting my brows has been hard, because the muscles that control the brow movement are right...
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Tumor Travel: The recovery

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The most exciting part of a typical sightseeing adventure, even more so than the destination itself, is the onward journey. For the kind of travel one embarks on with illnesses, however, it's the return trip to normalcy, the road after the major health event, that becomes pivotal to the travel's success story. It's been a month since I have been home from Seattle. It was emotionally draining to not see my dad excitedly greeting me on the drive way upon my arrival from Seattle, nor mom with her fistful of salt to be circled three times around me to do drishti and ward off all evil. Somethings go from minor annoyances to major nostalgia overnight! Not having the luxury of just letting ammamma know what's to be had for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, not seeing the forever willing taata that you could count on for fetching a glass of milk, putting the groceries away, or taking the trash out, has taken some time to get used to even for the girls.  While I am glad to report tha...
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