05/22/2024: Happy Dance!
I simply don't like taking medicines. Just the thought of them makes me feel nauseous. I somehow managed to stay on schedule for all my mandatory medicines for the first couple of weeks post surgery. As I gradually felt better, my aversion for the medicines came back with a vengeance. Despite my husband's constant warnings not to, I stopped taking ALL my medicines as of three days ago. This morning, at my radiation oncologist appointment, I got to hear it from the nurse. She chided me for tapering off prescription medication abruptly. I didn't dare look at my husband's face, for I knew he had the textbook example of "I told you so" written on it.
The rest of the appointment went amazingly in my favor, though. The oncologist, Dr. Chen, had a meeting with my neurosurgeon Dr. Gore, and got detailed notes on my case. I have atypical meningioma, which means I am in the 9% of the meningioma pool that has a grade 2 tumor (90% have grade 1, 1% have a tumor that grows much faster at grade 3 or higher).
The tumor was likely in my brain for 5-10years. Consumption of estrogen or other hormone supplements speeds up that growth. Other than the occasional tofu or other estrogen-rich vegetarian food, I didn't intentionally consume any estrogen. My habits or genetics could not have caused this. If it were not for that ER Visit on February 15th, the day I incidentally had a large tofu burger for lunch, it wouldn't have been detected for decades. If it were not for the early detection, Dr. Gore wouldn't have had the opportunity to work his magic on me. If it were not for Dr. Gore, I wouldn't have heard those words that came out of Dr Chen's mouth this morning- "there is practically no more tumor left in there!".
I had to take my glasses off at that point, as it was past the duration I have been able to focus, lately.
There is a 20% risk of the tumor growing again, the doctor continued. He presented me with two solution paths:
1. Put me in observation, with an MRI scan every six months. If the tumor makes a come back, consider radiation oncology then.
2. Go through 33 consecutive days of radiation now and decrease the risk of recurrence from 20% to 5%. He went through the very long list of short term and permanent side effects.
It was one of the easiest of medical decisions I had to make on my tumor travel thus far! Option 1 it is! Although I was visibly exhausted after nearly an hour of complete focus and engagement, internally I was doing a happy dance!
On the walk across the hospital's sprawling lobby, Bhaskar's "I told you so" face that I had only imagined during the appointment suddenly started talking. He was quite upset with me for stopping the anti-seizure and nerve-soothing medicines abruptly. I walked in complete silence, feeling guilty for not listening to him. Just then, miraculously, Krista, Dr.Gore's PA, appeared in front of us, seemingly from nowhere. I waved to her, confessed to her about my not following the doctor's orders, and asked if I should resume taking the medicines for one more week like she prescribed. Right there in that lobby, she inspected my incisions. "Well, you have not gotten any seizures, your incision is healing beautifully, and you are fine to not take those meds again", she said with a smile and walked away. Even my husband forgot all about his vent session from mere seconds ago and smiled!
Out of the hundreds if not thousands of people that visit St.Vincent's every day, we found the one PA that undid my stitches and prescribed my medicines, walking in our direction, at the exact moment I needed her reassurance. The universe is conspiring to watch out for my family and heal me in a hurry! I had a spring in my stride the rest of the way to our car, *"aaj main upar, aasman niche" forming the background score of my invisible happy dance.
*that's a Hindi song from the movie Khamoshi from way back when: //youtu.be/pT-OMnI0Utw?si=ko3XK-IGW5Px1i63
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